Creating Life Long Learners: How To Poop In "The Wilderness" 101

The opportunities I have been fortunate enough to experience in life I have never ever taken for granted.  I've visited far away lands, made friends who don't speak English, and walked in places Jesus himself walked.  Throughout my life adventures, I have learned so much that I would have probably never learned in the classroom (like how to start a fire, or how to swear in proper Spanish).  One of these experiences was my two summers working at a residential camp in Michigan.  There I learned how to be silly, relate to kids, and I met some of the most AWESOME people I've ever met and I'm very happy to still call the majority of them "friend."  The last summer I was there I "roughed it" more than I did in the previous summer.  I opted to bathe and wash my hair in the lake on my breaks instead of using the showers at night.  The housing we had didn't have air conditioning so rather than sweat my butt off, I opted to sleep outside, in a hay field, with my sleeping bag and a citronella candle.  I tell my post college friends about these experiences and some can imagine me living like that for a summer, others believe I'm making it up.  Lucky for me, I've got pictures to prove it:

Wednesday was the last day for students before Easter Break.  There was some time at the end of the hour and rather than do busy work, I give the kids that time if they've accomplished the learning goals of the day.  This happened to be a class of sophomores (think oozing hormones).  My sophomore boys are something else.  NOTHING is kept secret.  They're so happy that I understand they have "poop schedules" and let them go when they come into my classroom asking to go to the bathroom to "drop a dos."  Over share?  Absolutely but nothing really shocks me anymore.  Especially coming from 16 year old boys.  They live to be disgusting.

During this end of class time, one of the boys told me that a bunch of the boys in that class were going to "go camping in the wilderness" over break.  This translated into one of their friend's parents have land that they were given permission to go camping on.  They asked me if I'd ever been camping before and I told them I had.  After asking them a few questions I discovered none of them have been camping before, let alone in the "wilderness" (We live in the Midwest.  There is no wilderness in the Midwest but I just didn't have the heart to break it to them) and asked me for tips.

I love the fact that I can teach things to kids that aren't necessarily found in textbooks but can only be taught by the trial and error of someone who has already had the experience.  They told me they wanted to camp without tents, sleep under the stars and have a fire.  One of them said "Ms. N. we have a tarp, and sleeping bags.  What else would you suggest?"  So I started telling them about the principles of Leave No Trace Camping.    I explained the philosophy of "Take only pictures, leave only footprints."  Then came the question I knew would eventually be asked:  "But Ms. N. we can take toilet paper right?  Cause you know, we do  have our poop schedule."  I explained biodegradable toilet paper and told them they also had the option of taking the toilet paper with them when they left.  I had earlier mentioned the fact that they needed to take a few trash bags for litter etc.

The look on these boys' faces when I talked about them taking used toilet paper home with them was priceless!  You would have thought I suggested they eat it.  I asked them if they were bringing a shovel.  They looked at each other puzzled and said "No...why?"  I then explained the delicate art of relieving one's self in "the wilderness."  I explained the process of "digging a hole" doing their business and covering the hole back up.  As I was explaining all this one of them got out a piece of paper and started writing everything down saying "Slow down Ms. N. this is good stuff, I've got to write this down. We're going to have to take these notes with us guys."  We covered pooping in the woods, digging a fire pit, how to properly have a fire in "the wilderness", and how to inspect the land for rocks, roots (again which I say like "foot" which I guess is totally hilarious to these kids) and other debris so they wouldn't have a bumpy sleeping experience.  The bell rang and we were still talking.  They went to grab their books off their desks, kind of whispered to each other and came back over to my desk and asked, "Hey Ms. N do you want to go with us? Or at least go with us to set up?  We could use someone with your skills and knowledge of the wilderness."  I assured them they would be fine without me (I don't even like to take these kids to the library, I'm not going into "the wilderness" with them).

I cannot wait until Monday to hear how they fared.  As much as they like to talk about pooping, I'm sure they will all have several stories about their "digging a hole" stories.

They drive me absolutely to the brink of insanity (16 year old students) most of the time, and I would normally never ever say "I can't wait for Monday" but I feel like these stories will make for a fantastic Monday.

Peace.

Onion Bushes and Chicken Eggs: My Adventures in Agriculture Continue...

Let me start this post off by saying I'm a city girl through and through.  I love the smells and the sounds of the city and there's something magical for me being part of the walking masses downtown in a large city.  When I returned from Spain the first time I always talked about how Madrid had a "smell" and how I missed it.  About ten years later I returned with my significant other of the time and our first day there I took in a deep breath and said "God I love the smell of Madrid.  I've missed it SO MUCH!"  My disgusted paraja looked at me and said "You mean the smell of exhaust mixed with the smell of wet cigarettes?"  When I stood back and thought about it, that WAS the smell.  It was the smell of a city and particularly for me Madrid, Spain.

Four years ago I taught for the first time in a rural setting.  My students were farm kids, they owned chickens, pigs, cows, etc.  The FFA (Future Farmers of America for those, like myself had no idea what the acronym stood for) was really a big deal at the school.  They even had a "Drive Your Tractor to School Day"  I wish I could find the pictures I took because it was ridiculous but it looked something like this:

 This was my introduction to the world of agriculture and I was fascinated.  I had tons of questions and the kids were happy to answer them for me (Like how hay gets in that big spirally thing in the middle of the field).  When they told me there are male and female corn stocks it about blew my mind.  I couldn't fathom looking a cornfield and picking out the male and female corns.  It was the first time I had heard the term "de-tasseling corn".  Tassels to me were something that strippers wore....

One day in one of my freshmen classes (could have been sophomores but I believe it was freshmen) we were talking about the two parts of a spanish verb:  The "stem" and the "root" (which I pronounce like the word "foot" and I get made of big time here for it).  The root of a verb is only made up of two letters while the stem can be various letters long.  A curious student raised his hand and asked "Ms. N. wouldn't you think that the root would be longer than the stem, because root are usually longer if not bigger?"  A valid question I will admit which sparked the interest of other students who started shouting out examples such as "like carrots, like radishes or turnips."  Then the last example was said, "Yea like onions".  I stopped this misinformed youth and matter of factly said "No, not onions.  They don't grow underground they grow on a bush or a vine."  The whole class got silent.  One kid raised his hand and said, "But Ms. N." and one of the older kids stopped him mid sentence and said "Shut-up I want to hear this.  Tell us about how onions are raised Ms. N."  So I explained to them that onions grow on bushes or vines like tomatoes.  Vines either produced the big onions we can buy individually at the grocery store or the vines produce the little cocktail onions.  It all depended on what kind of vine it was.  When I was finished, the kids just kind of sat there, mouths gaping open and then they started to laugh.  They laughed until some were claiming they were going to pee their pants while others were laughing so hard they were crying.  I stood there, with a confused look on my face wondering "what is so funny?"  Finally the student who asked to hear my explanation of how onions were raised stopped laughing and asked me, "Ms. N. when is the last time you bought an onion at the store?"  I thought about it and told him it had been a week or two.  He then asked "Did you ever notice they're kind of dirty, like DIRT dirty?"  I said I guess I did but I washed all my vegetables so I never gave it much thought.  He concluded with "Ms. N. they're dirty like that because they grow UNDERGROUND."  My snappy and oh so ignorant retort, "Get out of here, they are not."  So they had me google it and sure enough my onion vine/bush theory was something I made up in my urban track mind.  My students couldn't believe I didn't know, what was to them, simple knowledge.  My argument back then, and until this day, is "I've never planted onions before how would I know how they grow?"  Some still call me silly for not knowing, other urban track minds like mine would agree it makes sense.

Fast forward four years and I'm teaching the properties of a Spanish verb to this year's freshmen.  Since these freshmen are my "babies" and they've only known Spanish taught by me, they're a bit easier to talk to than kids who had the crappy teacher for the past two years and are all upset that the Spanish class they signed up for was a blow off where the teacher would "sneak them out" to take them down the street to Taco Bell during class.

Remembering my story I re-told it to my second hour of freshmen.  [Side note:  I am BACK in the country.  I think I've talked about this in past posts but just wanted to drive that point home.  Sometimes I feel like Lisa Douglas, Eva Gabor's character in Green Acres].  They too thought it was super funny, my lack of rural knowledge and agriculture.  When the making fun of Ms. N. because she talks funny and thinks onions grow on trees stopped one of my exceptionally bright students asked, "Well I'm guessing you figured out where eggs come from that you buy from the store?"  I just kind of looked at him with a blank stare.  I kind of get it, but the whole chickens laying eggs for the heck of it thing still mystifies me. So I was honest and said "Not really."  Just like North Face claims that they'll "Never Stop Exploring" I have a similar philosophy that I will "Never Stop Learning".  So I asked them about it.  Some of these kids had parents who had chickens at home or lived on farms with chickens and knew more facts about this than I did (I teach Spanish not Animal Production 101).  I think they just confused me more.  I asked how many eggs chickens lay a day and I got laughs...not an answer.  I asked "Well how does the chicken know it layed an omlet egg and not a baby chicken egg?"  The answer I got back was pretty simple:  The omlet eggs are not fertalized and the baby chicken eggs are."  Then another curious student chimed in and said "But how do you know it's a fertalized egg?"  Excellent question I thought.  Then one of my most prim and proper girls said in a half whisper, half closed mouth to the girl beside her with the question, "It's because, you know, they have chicken sex."  That was the breaking point for me.  I laughed so hard I was doubled over and this girl's face was scarlet.  Someone asked how chickens have sex next and I cut off the converstation right there and went back to verbs.  It was a valid question and I'm still unsure about all those egg questions, and I have no idea how chickens mate, but the conversation had to stop before chicken sex positions, diagrams and hand gestures started. 

These kids teach me so much!  I don't mind that they laugh at my lack of "rural knowledge".  I laugh with them, because if I can't laugh at myself, well, I don't belong in this profession.

Happy Easter!

Ancient History???

Michael Crichton, the author behind such books as Jurassic Park and Disclosure  (I hope you all know these were BOOKS before they were MOVIES) once said on Timeline:
"...if you didn't know history, you didn't know anything.  You were a leaf that didn't know it was part of a tree."

This week in my upper level classes we were practicing numbers past 30.  When we got into the thousands I handed out a matching game.  I put significant events on one side of the paper and the years they happened on the other side.  I didn’t expect them to know ALL of them,  (like the year the first World Cup was played) but some of them.  These kids have made me feel old before, but I felt really old when I was done with the day, and scared at how little World and even less American history these kids knew.  I mean some of them didn’t even guess the right century!  Here are some examples:

-A lot of kids didn’t know what a bi-centennial is, let alone what year it was (1976)

-A popular response to the question “When was John Lennon shot” was “Who cares”. (1980)

-One girl thought Columbus came to the “New World” in 1215 (that was the year of the Magna Carta)

-Never heard of the Magna Carta

-One response to the question “The year George Foreman became the oldest heavyweight champ?” was “Ms. N., George Forman isn’t a boxer he sells grills on TV.” (1994)

-“The Year Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday,” produced the question “Whatever year the pilgrims had dinner with the Indians.” (1941)

-They thought Pablo Picasso was born in the 1700s.   (He died in 1971)

“The year Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald” brought up questions like “Who is Jack Ruby?” and “Who is Lee Harvey Oswald?”  And the best “Were they in a band together?” (1963)

-The year of the Battle of Little Big Horn:  “What’s little Big Horn?”  when responded with “You know Custar’s Last Stand?  Sitting Bull?  Crazy Horse? I got “Are you making this stuff up Ms. N.?” (1876)

-The year OJ Simpson was found not guilty of murder:  “The guy from the Naked Gun movies?” (1995)

-The year Michael Jordan leads The Bulls to their 6^th NBA Title”  was answered with “How are we supposed to know we were like two.” (1998).  I personally think this one is pretty sad, that was basketball at its greatest in my opinion.  I truly feel bad for this generation that they didn’t get to experience that.

-The year Babe Ruth premiered in the MLB:  This was the best follow up question of the day.  “Do you mean the year it first started being sold at CONCESSION STANDS in Major League Baseball?”  They know the candy bar is but not the Great Bambino himself.  (1914)

YIKES!

On the bright side most of them DID know the year Columbus came (invaded) the “New World” (except for the girl that thought it was 1215).  They knew the year of Pearl Harbor, Woodstock, the beginning of World War II, D-Day, and the JFK assignation.  So I guess there’s a bright side to this darkly troubling story….

Am I wrong in being a little shocked here?  Or as time passes do things become more and more insignificant?

Lights, Camera, No Idea.

This past week was a three day week leading up to a four day break for our "Spring Break".  We get out May 18th so we have a shortened vacation which is fine by me!  I decided to show my sophomores and juniors "La Bamba."  They had never heard of it.  It got me thinking.  My students haven't heard of a lot of movies that defined MY life as well as the lives of my friends.  I started making a list and some of these, well it's pretty sad they might never see them:

-Platoon
-Blue Velvet
-Good Morning Vietnam
-Edward Scissorhands
-The Princess Bride
-The Big Chill
-Fast Times at Ridgemont High
-Terms of Endearment
-Rain Man
-Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
-When Harry Met Sally
-A Fish Called Wanda
-Driving Miss Daisy
-Bull Durham
-Moonstruck
-Pulp Fiction
-Dances with Wolves
-Usual Suspects
-The Big Lebowski
-The English Patient
-Good Will Hunting
-Fight Club
-Philadelphia
-Scent of a Woman
-As Good As it Gets
-Clerks
-What's Eating Gilbert Grape
-Reality Bites
-American Beauty
-Steel Magnolias
-Clueless
-Cruel Intentions
-Beetle Juice
-Heathers
-Cocoon
-The Never Ending Story
-Encino Man
-Benny and Joon
-Trainspotting

I could go on and on.  Anyone have one to add to the list?

Double Standards in Education and the fear of being PC

I had an outstanding conversation with a friend last night on the phone who called to ask my "educational expertise" about something that happened in her daughter's 2nd grade classroom the other day.  I've really been reflecting on the subject and I thought I'd throw it out here for maybe something to ponder or to add your two cents, since I'm giving mine.

My friend, we'll call her "Jen" posted on facebook the other night about her daughter needing prayer for the following school day and a comment was made about "kids can be so mean."  Jen is a dear dear friend of mine.  I was a bride's maid in her wedding, we went to high school and college together and she is probably the best mother I've witnessed in a long time.  She has three awesome kids who I love to bits (Not usually a fan of the little ones). Love her husband.  They're an awesome family.  Jen and her husband have taught their children morals, values, kindness toward others, and the importance of God in their lives.  If I have a family someday I hope them to be even half as great as they are.  You get my picture.

Jen's daughter (her oldest) was assigned to do a biographical oral presentation of someone.  When I heard the assignment I instantly thought of JFK, or Helen Keller or someone significant in history. Aparently Justin Bieber, Kelly Clarkson and Lady GaGa were some of the most popular choices.  Go figure. Just as Jen and I had done as kids, her daughter had recently started to read the Laura Ingalls Wilder "Little House on the Prairie" books.  This clever little 2nd grader got all dressed up in prairie style clothes and did her presentation on Ingalls-Wilder in front of the class.

Let's digress for a moment.  This is a very diverse second grade classroom.  There are children who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim etc.  One of these students is friends with Jen's daughter.  He is Muslim and he has stated to her several times that he "doesn't believe in God." Jen's kids are very involved in church and love the Lord.  One of the requirements for the presentation was to tell what they learned from this person who they were speaking about.  This little girl was so nervous about offending her Muslim friend that when she addressed that requirement she looked at her friend first and said "I know you don't believe in God but..." and then she continued to talk about how she learned from Ingalls Wilder the importance of family and of God in their lives. 

As an educator as well as a person who celebrates diversity and feels that we should no hold prejudices against people for religious beliefs, color of their skin or who they love, I thought she handled this beautifully.  I have friends who are not Christians and if I reference something from my religion to friends who don't hold the same beliefs as I do, I would probably preface the conversation the same way.

Well, the young teacher in this classroom (maybe 2 years of experience so she's still learning.  Heck I'm on year number 12 and I am still learning) was pretty ticked off at my friend's daughter.  She sent a scathing e mail to Jen telling her how she needed to "talk to her daughter" about what she talks about in the classroom and to not single kids out and embarrass them in front of her peers.

There is so much of this situation that I don't agree with.  First of all, if Jen's daughter were to have done her presentation on the Dali Lama and referenced that some kids in the class aren't Buddhist and may not believe in his teaching I don't think there would have been a problem.  Same goes with Gandhi.  If a student would have reported about Matisyahu who is a musician that is an Hasidic Jew and references his faith in some songs (If you've never listened to him, he's great.  "King Without A Crown" and "One Day" are great songs) I doubt there would have been a problem.  My question is this:  Was the teacher upset about how she addressed her classmate (even though he had been very open about his beliefs and religion and all the kids knew about it) or was the teacher so worried about being "Politically Correct" and freaked out at the word "Jesus."?

These days we can't even mention the word "Christmas" in our public schools.  Some think this is an atrocity considering this country was founded by Christian men.  I have a dear friend who is Jewish and she started telling me about how sensitive she was to the whole "Christmas" thing in schools yet Hanukah was never mentioned and how receiving a Christmas card from our superintendent was kind of ignorant on the part of the district considering everyone is a Christian and celebrates Christmas (which she and her family do not).  When you hear this argument from the "other side of the table" it makes sense.  We're not all alike.  We come from different backgrounds, different religious beliefs and one belief isn't "better" than the other.  Whether you believe in God, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus etc.  the main tie in for all religions is FAITH.  My idea of God might not be Jen's idea of God and we're both Christian.  We can't talk about the religious significance of Christmas in our public schools BUT the friend of Jen's daughter, his mother came into school in December and taught the kids all about Kwanza and Ramadan etc.  I think that's awesome.  They only way we are going to get rid of hate is to fight the ignorance that makes people hate in the first place.  I grew up with Muslim friends.  I remember going over to one friend's house during Ramadan and eating some of the best food I ever had with his family once the sun set.  I learned so much from those experiences at his house.  My Jewish friend I mentioned earlier.  I pick her brain about Passover, Rosh Hashanah etc because I want to understand it.  In my opinion, if one religion is presented at a public school to children, all religions have a right to be represented.  My friend did not complain about the Muslim mother coming in to educate children on her family's culture and religious beliefs, but if Christianity is brought up it's a big no no and the ACLU gets involved.  I just don't get it.

I could go on and on.  But I'll save it for a later post.  What do you think?  Opinions?  I'd love to hear them so I can be more knowledgeable because, I believe, the truly educated never graduate~

Peace.

PS.  I’m attaching the video of  Matisyahu’s song “One Day”  I think it really relates to this conversation.  Hope you like it as much as I do!

It's Something In the Water

After seven LONG months of getting my internet from my blackberry, I FINALLY have internet at home so I can start blogging again.  Cause I know you've missed me.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you've probably seen my posts about all the pregnant girls at the school where I teach.  I am gobsmacked.  I can't believe the number.  We have 1 freshman, 5 sophomores, 1 junior and a senior pregnant (Not to mention two teachers).  I'm guessing it is wrong for me to believe that all 8 girls missed that day of Health class??

Two of these girls I have in class.  I guess I just invest in these kids and I have an idea of a standard that they should maintain and when stuff like this happens, I feel bad for the girl, but most of all I'm just disappointed.

Five sophomores!  FIVE.  That means that they'll be mothers before they can legally drive!!!  To expect teenagers to abstain from sex is just unrealistic.  They're going to do it if they want to or not, the least we can do is give them knowledge and tools to protect themselves from disease and unwanted pregnancy.  I know this would NEVER happen, but in my perfect world we'd have condom dispensers in the bathrooms just like the tampon dispensers in the ladies room.  These kids are too embarrassed to go to the store and buy condoms.  They're going to believe any old wives tale or urban myth about how NOT to get pregnant before they dare embarrass themselves (We're talking about teenagers here).

We also need to teach our girls that they have the right to demand that their boyfriends use protection.  No glove, no love should be their mantra.  I mean these 5 sophomores are going to be 30 with a 15 year old child!  We need to provide our kids with all the options out there:  adoption, abortion, etc. (even though a lot of people don't believe in abortion they still have a right to know about it).

With 8 girls pregnant our society is doing SOMETHING wrong.  Heads need to be pulled out of the sand and we must except that things are going to happen.  You can't scare kids out of having sex.  It's just not going to happen.

In the meantime, I'm going to be drinking bottled water until this "trend" has passed.

Happy to be back!

It's Baaaaaaaaaack!

The new school year is back.  If my calculations are correct (and they probably aren't because you all know by now I'm too pretty to do math) this will be my 28th first day of school in my life.  You would think I would have the hang of it by now. 

Having moved out of state to be closer to family I had the daunting task of finding a place to live.  I went and looked at houses with realtors and used Craig's List as another source and as of Tuesday I had no place to live and was facing a 90 minute commute each way to and from the Ps house where I would have to stay.  God bless the people at my school.  Through the guidance counselor making a few calls I was put in touch with an English teacher who happened to have a house for rent.  I pulled into the driveway to see it and I was sold already.  Beautiful 2,000 square foot home with a full basement, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, a dog run in the back yard, fireplace I could go on and on.  It's on a country road that is hardly paved and besides all the corn and soybean fields there are only 3 other houses on my road.  It's straight up country.  As a matter of fact I made my first ever purchase from Tractor Supply yesterday.  Big change from the city girl I was for 10 years but I'm looking forward to the tranquility and peacefulness of the country.  I'm not going to lie though, every time I look out the kitchen to the cornfield that borders my backyard, I half expect Ray Leota to come out of the corn and want me to play catch with him.  When I start hearing the "if you build it he will come" voice I know I'm in trouble.

I'm looking forward to a great year with great stories to tell all of you!  Keep your fingers crossed for me on Monday!

Ready or not, here I go.....