S*!t My Students Say

This will be a running list of  the goofy things said in my class:

-  Today I had a junior come up to my desk and ask me for a "moist pamphlet" because his hands were dirty from Chemistry. When I clarified that he wanted a "moist towelette", he asked "is there a difference?"

-(Two girls studying in my desk during my plan, Pandora is on "The Beatles" channel.)
#1: "Oh my God I love this song (starts to sing) " little men die".
#2: It's "Live and Let Die Kate"

-Today's journal prompt for my freshmen: If you could study abroad in any country in the world where would you study and how would the experience give you an edge over others in your same future field of employment?
-5 answers were copied and pasted right off the internet (I knew they couldn't spell or speak that well)
-One student answered "Nowhere. America is the best country in the world. There is nothing I need to learn that America can't teach me."
-Another student said they would study in Florida. Wasn't aware it was a different country.
-And yet another said they would study in Europe. I had to inform this child that Europe is a continent not a country.
 
-(One freshman girl to another ):
#1:  OMG, are you wearing that for our presentation today?
#2:  Um, we are not PREE-SEN-TATING today.  (yikes)
 

The Significance of Columbus Day as Told by my Freshmen (May God have mercy on their souls).

Some questions are better left unanswered.  I should realize this by now but I'm a big believer in "the benefit of the doubt" and it always comes back to smack me right in the face.


With today being Columbus Day and us being in school I had my freshmen log on to our agenda and create a journal entry prior to our lesson on Columbus Day and Christopher Columbus.

This was my prompt:

Take the first 5-10 minutes of class to journal about what you know about Christopher Columbus.  Give your opinion on him and why we celebrate a holiday in his name.

I should have known I was setting myself up.  Especially when I did this activity last year with my sophomores.  I started reading responses during my 2nd hour plan and I couldn't stop laughing at some of them.  This again, is stuff I could not make up.  I cut and pasted the best responses into e mail and sent them to myself so I could share them with all of you.  These entries are unedited, spelling errors, "facts" and all.

Prepare to be rendered speechless: (my commentary is in red)

• He was the first person to find Columbus Ohio.Because if it wasnt for him Ohios capitol probly woudnt be Columbus. 

• Christopher Columbus was from Great Brittan.  He then took 3 ships and his main sip was the called the Mayflower(1492 Columbus 1620 Mayflower).  In 1492 he disovered America.  We celebrate  holiday in his name because he discovered America and brought imigrants over with him .

• I know that Christopher Colunmbus discovered America. He is spanish( he was Italian born in Genoa).. He sailed across the ocean in 1492, on the Mayflower(Again with the Mayflower!!).  I think he is a good guy. We celebrate a holiday in his name, because he discovered america.

• Christopher Columbus sailed across the world on the mayflower with the pilgrims(WITH the pilgrims!) and they discovered America. So i think that Christopher is a good guy and we should celebrate him as a holiday because he discoverd America.

• christopher colombus was the founder of ohio. celebrate colombus day because it would not be called colombus if he did not find 

• The only thing that I know about Christopher Columbus is that he come over because he wanted to find realious freedom (huh?)

•  He landed near present day New York City (REALLY?) and he founded America. In my opinion he is a pretty cool guy since he found the best country in the world 

• . He is spanish. He ate with pilgrims i believe at th first dinner (yikes)

• He is a british man from britant. (Where exactly is "britant"?)

• Christopher Columbus sailed acros the ocean. Also the holiday we celebrate for him is thanksgiving (Not one but TWO holidays!). We celebreate this for him becasue he was the one who brought the native americans and them together and made peace. And they had a big dinner (Columbus the Peace Maker....)

• Christopher Columbus was the first to discover America 1492. We celebrate this holiday because he somewhat created the civiliation for the country (Because the Indiginous people already here were savages and acted like animals?) . But i also think the indians came with him so he shared the dicscovery. (Came with him where?  To Española?  To New York City?  To meet the pilgrims??)

• Christopher Columbus basically founded America. He was sailing and, reached America in 1482. There was a saying made for him Chritopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1482. The Native Americans' were here but, he said he founded America . I think we celebrate this because if he didn't find America none of us would be here , and civilized (Again with the civilized!  And about 12 years too early as well).

• Christopher Columbus was the first person to discover america.  He was on the May Flower (Again with the May Flower!)

• Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue. We celebrate a holiday in his name because he showed that we won the war (Who's we?  What war?). He had the flag up when he landed on shore. It showed that America was here (Kind of like Neil Armstrong?  The Mayflower has landed?).

• I dont think he discovered America, but history books says he did. We celebrate Thanksgiving in onor of him because when he came to America the pilgrims set up a feast and now we have a holiday after him. He sailed the seas and came to America in 1492. I beleve the indians discovered America because they were on the land before Christopher and the pilgrims were (At least we clarified that).

Wow.  Yikes.  That's all I could say.  I have no idea who was being a smartass and who really believed what they wrote.  This is our future...I am terrified.  

The Dog Days are Over...

I can't believe it's August.  Wow.  Where has summer gone?  I'm not mourning the loss of summer quite yet...I still have about another month left until I start teaching.  To be quite honest, I've been ready to go back to school since about July 5th.  I like being busy.  I say this now but I'm sure around February I am going to be pulling my hair out...but hey,  Isn't that the way it always is??

This coming school year is going to be a doozy.  I stated above that I like to be busy..well I'll get my wish this fall.  This fall I will have 2 major changes when it comes to my job(s).  First of all I was offered a part time position teaching Spanish online through Middlebury Interactive.  It's an honor to be hired on by this fine institution.  The school is run through Middlebury College which is known world wide for their foreign language program.  The first thing I thought of when I was offered the position was back in about my 3rd or 4th year teaching, my obnoxious, chip on her shoulder, she did not hire me so she did not like me department chair told me I couldn't speak the language well and perhaps I should go back to school.  Guess what?  Suck it Leslie.  :)

I'm trying to get used to this "everything is online" approach to teaching.  I've never taught online before so it'll be quite the experience teaching kids that are not in the same room as I.  But I'm excited about the opportunity and I'm ready to start!!

In the "mortar and brick" school where I teach, it will be year 2.  I'm excited to be seeing my kids that I had last year and picking up where we left off.  Our school has adopted the "New Tech Model" and we will be implementing it with our freshmen.  This model is based on Problem Based Learning (PBL) and it is intense.  I am kind of apprehensive about the whole thing but if it dusts off my students' brains and gets them to be creative...I'm all in.

As I start year twelve in the business of Education, I am so so proud of MY former students who are beginning their first and second years as teachers.  I thought it would make me feel old, but it actually gives me a feeling of pride and satisfaction. 

Even though I don't begin teaching until September, I have resigned myself to full time preparation from this day forward.

Looking forward to a great year and awesome stories to share!!!

Breaking Up with Chik-fil-a

Dear Chik-fil-a:

I am writing you this note to break up with you. Not that we were ever serious, I always knew you weren't good for me. You tried to impress me with your yummy sandwiches and waffle fries but it's just not enough. I need more. It's not me, it's definitely you. Your intolerance of others who don’t fit your mold will not fly with me (no pun intended). The fact that you support organizations that use the name of GOD to spread hate just reinforces my feelings more: I’m just too good for you. I feel sorry for you and your ignorance and narrow mindedness. Maybe someday you’ll realize, hate is not very Christian like…I doubt God is impressed.
I hope someday you wake up and realize that LOVE is LOVE and that LOVE, can conquer any HATE that you financially support.
 

Creating Life Long Learners: How To Poop In "The Wilderness" 101

The opportunities I have been fortunate enough to experience in life I have never ever taken for granted.  I've visited far away lands, made friends who don't speak English, and walked in places Jesus himself walked.  Throughout my life adventures, I have learned so much that I would have probably never learned in the classroom (like how to start a fire, or how to swear in proper Spanish).  One of these experiences was my two summers working at a residential camp in Michigan.  There I learned how to be silly, relate to kids, and I met some of the most AWESOME people I've ever met and I'm very happy to still call the majority of them "friend."  The last summer I was there I "roughed it" more than I did in the previous summer.  I opted to bathe and wash my hair in the lake on my breaks instead of using the showers at night.  The housing we had didn't have air conditioning so rather than sweat my butt off, I opted to sleep outside, in a hay field, with my sleeping bag and a citronella candle.  I tell my post college friends about these experiences and some can imagine me living like that for a summer, others believe I'm making it up.  Lucky for me, I've got pictures to prove it:

Wednesday was the last day for students before Easter Break.  There was some time at the end of the hour and rather than do busy work, I give the kids that time if they've accomplished the learning goals of the day.  This happened to be a class of sophomores (think oozing hormones).  My sophomore boys are something else.  NOTHING is kept secret.  They're so happy that I understand they have "poop schedules" and let them go when they come into my classroom asking to go to the bathroom to "drop a dos."  Over share?  Absolutely but nothing really shocks me anymore.  Especially coming from 16 year old boys.  They live to be disgusting.

During this end of class time, one of the boys told me that a bunch of the boys in that class were going to "go camping in the wilderness" over break.  This translated into one of their friend's parents have land that they were given permission to go camping on.  They asked me if I'd ever been camping before and I told them I had.  After asking them a few questions I discovered none of them have been camping before, let alone in the "wilderness" (We live in the Midwest.  There is no wilderness in the Midwest but I just didn't have the heart to break it to them) and asked me for tips.

I love the fact that I can teach things to kids that aren't necessarily found in textbooks but can only be taught by the trial and error of someone who has already had the experience.  They told me they wanted to camp without tents, sleep under the stars and have a fire.  One of them said "Ms. N. we have a tarp, and sleeping bags.  What else would you suggest?"  So I started telling them about the principles of Leave No Trace Camping.    I explained the philosophy of "Take only pictures, leave only footprints."  Then came the question I knew would eventually be asked:  "But Ms. N. we can take toilet paper right?  Cause you know, we do  have our poop schedule."  I explained biodegradable toilet paper and told them they also had the option of taking the toilet paper with them when they left.  I had earlier mentioned the fact that they needed to take a few trash bags for litter etc.

The look on these boys' faces when I talked about them taking used toilet paper home with them was priceless!  You would have thought I suggested they eat it.  I asked them if they were bringing a shovel.  They looked at each other puzzled and said "No...why?"  I then explained the delicate art of relieving one's self in "the wilderness."  I explained the process of "digging a hole" doing their business and covering the hole back up.  As I was explaining all this one of them got out a piece of paper and started writing everything down saying "Slow down Ms. N. this is good stuff, I've got to write this down. We're going to have to take these notes with us guys."  We covered pooping in the woods, digging a fire pit, how to properly have a fire in "the wilderness", and how to inspect the land for rocks, roots (again which I say like "foot" which I guess is totally hilarious to these kids) and other debris so they wouldn't have a bumpy sleeping experience.  The bell rang and we were still talking.  They went to grab their books off their desks, kind of whispered to each other and came back over to my desk and asked, "Hey Ms. N do you want to go with us? Or at least go with us to set up?  We could use someone with your skills and knowledge of the wilderness."  I assured them they would be fine without me (I don't even like to take these kids to the library, I'm not going into "the wilderness" with them).

I cannot wait until Monday to hear how they fared.  As much as they like to talk about pooping, I'm sure they will all have several stories about their "digging a hole" stories.

They drive me absolutely to the brink of insanity (16 year old students) most of the time, and I would normally never ever say "I can't wait for Monday" but I feel like these stories will make for a fantastic Monday.

Peace.

Onion Bushes and Chicken Eggs: My Adventures in Agriculture Continue...

Let me start this post off by saying I'm a city girl through and through.  I love the smells and the sounds of the city and there's something magical for me being part of the walking masses downtown in a large city.  When I returned from Spain the first time I always talked about how Madrid had a "smell" and how I missed it.  About ten years later I returned with my significant other of the time and our first day there I took in a deep breath and said "God I love the smell of Madrid.  I've missed it SO MUCH!"  My disgusted paraja looked at me and said "You mean the smell of exhaust mixed with the smell of wet cigarettes?"  When I stood back and thought about it, that WAS the smell.  It was the smell of a city and particularly for me Madrid, Spain.

Four years ago I taught for the first time in a rural setting.  My students were farm kids, they owned chickens, pigs, cows, etc.  The FFA (Future Farmers of America for those, like myself had no idea what the acronym stood for) was really a big deal at the school.  They even had a "Drive Your Tractor to School Day"  I wish I could find the pictures I took because it was ridiculous but it looked something like this:

 This was my introduction to the world of agriculture and I was fascinated.  I had tons of questions and the kids were happy to answer them for me (Like how hay gets in that big spirally thing in the middle of the field).  When they told me there are male and female corn stocks it about blew my mind.  I couldn't fathom looking a cornfield and picking out the male and female corns.  It was the first time I had heard the term "de-tasseling corn".  Tassels to me were something that strippers wore....

One day in one of my freshmen classes (could have been sophomores but I believe it was freshmen) we were talking about the two parts of a spanish verb:  The "stem" and the "root" (which I pronounce like the word "foot" and I get made of big time here for it).  The root of a verb is only made up of two letters while the stem can be various letters long.  A curious student raised his hand and asked "Ms. N. wouldn't you think that the root would be longer than the stem, because root are usually longer if not bigger?"  A valid question I will admit which sparked the interest of other students who started shouting out examples such as "like carrots, like radishes or turnips."  Then the last example was said, "Yea like onions".  I stopped this misinformed youth and matter of factly said "No, not onions.  They don't grow underground they grow on a bush or a vine."  The whole class got silent.  One kid raised his hand and said, "But Ms. N." and one of the older kids stopped him mid sentence and said "Shut-up I want to hear this.  Tell us about how onions are raised Ms. N."  So I explained to them that onions grow on bushes or vines like tomatoes.  Vines either produced the big onions we can buy individually at the grocery store or the vines produce the little cocktail onions.  It all depended on what kind of vine it was.  When I was finished, the kids just kind of sat there, mouths gaping open and then they started to laugh.  They laughed until some were claiming they were going to pee their pants while others were laughing so hard they were crying.  I stood there, with a confused look on my face wondering "what is so funny?"  Finally the student who asked to hear my explanation of how onions were raised stopped laughing and asked me, "Ms. N. when is the last time you bought an onion at the store?"  I thought about it and told him it had been a week or two.  He then asked "Did you ever notice they're kind of dirty, like DIRT dirty?"  I said I guess I did but I washed all my vegetables so I never gave it much thought.  He concluded with "Ms. N. they're dirty like that because they grow UNDERGROUND."  My snappy and oh so ignorant retort, "Get out of here, they are not."  So they had me google it and sure enough my onion vine/bush theory was something I made up in my urban track mind.  My students couldn't believe I didn't know, what was to them, simple knowledge.  My argument back then, and until this day, is "I've never planted onions before how would I know how they grow?"  Some still call me silly for not knowing, other urban track minds like mine would agree it makes sense.

Fast forward four years and I'm teaching the properties of a Spanish verb to this year's freshmen.  Since these freshmen are my "babies" and they've only known Spanish taught by me, they're a bit easier to talk to than kids who had the crappy teacher for the past two years and are all upset that the Spanish class they signed up for was a blow off where the teacher would "sneak them out" to take them down the street to Taco Bell during class.

Remembering my story I re-told it to my second hour of freshmen.  [Side note:  I am BACK in the country.  I think I've talked about this in past posts but just wanted to drive that point home.  Sometimes I feel like Lisa Douglas, Eva Gabor's character in Green Acres].  They too thought it was super funny, my lack of rural knowledge and agriculture.  When the making fun of Ms. N. because she talks funny and thinks onions grow on trees stopped one of my exceptionally bright students asked, "Well I'm guessing you figured out where eggs come from that you buy from the store?"  I just kind of looked at him with a blank stare.  I kind of get it, but the whole chickens laying eggs for the heck of it thing still mystifies me. So I was honest and said "Not really."  Just like North Face claims that they'll "Never Stop Exploring" I have a similar philosophy that I will "Never Stop Learning".  So I asked them about it.  Some of these kids had parents who had chickens at home or lived on farms with chickens and knew more facts about this than I did (I teach Spanish not Animal Production 101).  I think they just confused me more.  I asked how many eggs chickens lay a day and I got laughs...not an answer.  I asked "Well how does the chicken know it layed an omlet egg and not a baby chicken egg?"  The answer I got back was pretty simple:  The omlet eggs are not fertalized and the baby chicken eggs are."  Then another curious student chimed in and said "But how do you know it's a fertalized egg?"  Excellent question I thought.  Then one of my most prim and proper girls said in a half whisper, half closed mouth to the girl beside her with the question, "It's because, you know, they have chicken sex."  That was the breaking point for me.  I laughed so hard I was doubled over and this girl's face was scarlet.  Someone asked how chickens have sex next and I cut off the converstation right there and went back to verbs.  It was a valid question and I'm still unsure about all those egg questions, and I have no idea how chickens mate, but the conversation had to stop before chicken sex positions, diagrams and hand gestures started. 

These kids teach me so much!  I don't mind that they laugh at my lack of "rural knowledge".  I laugh with them, because if I can't laugh at myself, well, I don't belong in this profession.

Happy Easter!

Ancient History???

Michael Crichton, the author behind such books as Jurassic Park and Disclosure  (I hope you all know these were BOOKS before they were MOVIES) once said on Timeline:
"...if you didn't know history, you didn't know anything.  You were a leaf that didn't know it was part of a tree."

This week in my upper level classes we were practicing numbers past 30.  When we got into the thousands I handed out a matching game.  I put significant events on one side of the paper and the years they happened on the other side.  I didn’t expect them to know ALL of them,  (like the year the first World Cup was played) but some of them.  These kids have made me feel old before, but I felt really old when I was done with the day, and scared at how little World and even less American history these kids knew.  I mean some of them didn’t even guess the right century!  Here are some examples:

-A lot of kids didn’t know what a bi-centennial is, let alone what year it was (1976)

-A popular response to the question “When was John Lennon shot” was “Who cares”. (1980)

-One girl thought Columbus came to the “New World” in 1215 (that was the year of the Magna Carta)

-Never heard of the Magna Carta

-One response to the question “The year George Foreman became the oldest heavyweight champ?” was “Ms. N., George Forman isn’t a boxer he sells grills on TV.” (1994)

-“The Year Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday,” produced the question “Whatever year the pilgrims had dinner with the Indians.” (1941)

-They thought Pablo Picasso was born in the 1700s.   (He died in 1971)

“The year Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald” brought up questions like “Who is Jack Ruby?” and “Who is Lee Harvey Oswald?”  And the best “Were they in a band together?” (1963)

-The year of the Battle of Little Big Horn:  “What’s little Big Horn?”  when responded with “You know Custar’s Last Stand?  Sitting Bull?  Crazy Horse? I got “Are you making this stuff up Ms. N.?” (1876)

-The year OJ Simpson was found not guilty of murder:  “The guy from the Naked Gun movies?” (1995)

-The year Michael Jordan leads The Bulls to their 6^th NBA Title”  was answered with “How are we supposed to know we were like two.” (1998).  I personally think this one is pretty sad, that was basketball at its greatest in my opinion.  I truly feel bad for this generation that they didn’t get to experience that.

-The year Babe Ruth premiered in the MLB:  This was the best follow up question of the day.  “Do you mean the year it first started being sold at CONCESSION STANDS in Major League Baseball?”  They know the candy bar is but not the Great Bambino himself.  (1914)

YIKES!

On the bright side most of them DID know the year Columbus came (invaded) the “New World” (except for the girl that thought it was 1215).  They knew the year of Pearl Harbor, Woodstock, the beginning of World War II, D-Day, and the JFK assignation.  So I guess there’s a bright side to this darkly troubling story….

Am I wrong in being a little shocked here?  Or as time passes do things become more and more insignificant?

Lights, Camera, No Idea.

This past week was a three day week leading up to a four day break for our "Spring Break".  We get out May 18th so we have a shortened vacation which is fine by me!  I decided to show my sophomores and juniors "La Bamba."  They had never heard of it.  It got me thinking.  My students haven't heard of a lot of movies that defined MY life as well as the lives of my friends.  I started making a list and some of these, well it's pretty sad they might never see them:

-Platoon
-Blue Velvet
-Good Morning Vietnam
-Edward Scissorhands
-The Princess Bride
-The Big Chill
-Fast Times at Ridgemont High
-Terms of Endearment
-Rain Man
-Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
-When Harry Met Sally
-A Fish Called Wanda
-Driving Miss Daisy
-Bull Durham
-Moonstruck
-Pulp Fiction
-Dances with Wolves
-Usual Suspects
-The Big Lebowski
-The English Patient
-Good Will Hunting
-Fight Club
-Philadelphia
-Scent of a Woman
-As Good As it Gets
-Clerks
-What's Eating Gilbert Grape
-Reality Bites
-American Beauty
-Steel Magnolias
-Clueless
-Cruel Intentions
-Beetle Juice
-Heathers
-Cocoon
-The Never Ending Story
-Encino Man
-Benny and Joon
-Trainspotting

I could go on and on.  Anyone have one to add to the list?

Double Standards in Education and the fear of being PC

I had an outstanding conversation with a friend last night on the phone who called to ask my "educational expertise" about something that happened in her daughter's 2nd grade classroom the other day.  I've really been reflecting on the subject and I thought I'd throw it out here for maybe something to ponder or to add your two cents, since I'm giving mine.

My friend, we'll call her "Jen" posted on facebook the other night about her daughter needing prayer for the following school day and a comment was made about "kids can be so mean."  Jen is a dear dear friend of mine.  I was a bride's maid in her wedding, we went to high school and college together and she is probably the best mother I've witnessed in a long time.  She has three awesome kids who I love to bits (Not usually a fan of the little ones). Love her husband.  They're an awesome family.  Jen and her husband have taught their children morals, values, kindness toward others, and the importance of God in their lives.  If I have a family someday I hope them to be even half as great as they are.  You get my picture.

Jen's daughter (her oldest) was assigned to do a biographical oral presentation of someone.  When I heard the assignment I instantly thought of JFK, or Helen Keller or someone significant in history. Aparently Justin Bieber, Kelly Clarkson and Lady GaGa were some of the most popular choices.  Go figure. Just as Jen and I had done as kids, her daughter had recently started to read the Laura Ingalls Wilder "Little House on the Prairie" books.  This clever little 2nd grader got all dressed up in prairie style clothes and did her presentation on Ingalls-Wilder in front of the class.

Let's digress for a moment.  This is a very diverse second grade classroom.  There are children who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim etc.  One of these students is friends with Jen's daughter.  He is Muslim and he has stated to her several times that he "doesn't believe in God." Jen's kids are very involved in church and love the Lord.  One of the requirements for the presentation was to tell what they learned from this person who they were speaking about.  This little girl was so nervous about offending her Muslim friend that when she addressed that requirement she looked at her friend first and said "I know you don't believe in God but..." and then she continued to talk about how she learned from Ingalls Wilder the importance of family and of God in their lives. 

As an educator as well as a person who celebrates diversity and feels that we should no hold prejudices against people for religious beliefs, color of their skin or who they love, I thought she handled this beautifully.  I have friends who are not Christians and if I reference something from my religion to friends who don't hold the same beliefs as I do, I would probably preface the conversation the same way.

Well, the young teacher in this classroom (maybe 2 years of experience so she's still learning.  Heck I'm on year number 12 and I am still learning) was pretty ticked off at my friend's daughter.  She sent a scathing e mail to Jen telling her how she needed to "talk to her daughter" about what she talks about in the classroom and to not single kids out and embarrass them in front of her peers.

There is so much of this situation that I don't agree with.  First of all, if Jen's daughter were to have done her presentation on the Dali Lama and referenced that some kids in the class aren't Buddhist and may not believe in his teaching I don't think there would have been a problem.  Same goes with Gandhi.  If a student would have reported about Matisyahu who is a musician that is an Hasidic Jew and references his faith in some songs (If you've never listened to him, he's great.  "King Without A Crown" and "One Day" are great songs) I doubt there would have been a problem.  My question is this:  Was the teacher upset about how she addressed her classmate (even though he had been very open about his beliefs and religion and all the kids knew about it) or was the teacher so worried about being "Politically Correct" and freaked out at the word "Jesus."?

These days we can't even mention the word "Christmas" in our public schools.  Some think this is an atrocity considering this country was founded by Christian men.  I have a dear friend who is Jewish and she started telling me about how sensitive she was to the whole "Christmas" thing in schools yet Hanukah was never mentioned and how receiving a Christmas card from our superintendent was kind of ignorant on the part of the district considering everyone is a Christian and celebrates Christmas (which she and her family do not).  When you hear this argument from the "other side of the table" it makes sense.  We're not all alike.  We come from different backgrounds, different religious beliefs and one belief isn't "better" than the other.  Whether you believe in God, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus etc.  the main tie in for all religions is FAITH.  My idea of God might not be Jen's idea of God and we're both Christian.  We can't talk about the religious significance of Christmas in our public schools BUT the friend of Jen's daughter, his mother came into school in December and taught the kids all about Kwanza and Ramadan etc.  I think that's awesome.  They only way we are going to get rid of hate is to fight the ignorance that makes people hate in the first place.  I grew up with Muslim friends.  I remember going over to one friend's house during Ramadan and eating some of the best food I ever had with his family once the sun set.  I learned so much from those experiences at his house.  My Jewish friend I mentioned earlier.  I pick her brain about Passover, Rosh Hashanah etc because I want to understand it.  In my opinion, if one religion is presented at a public school to children, all religions have a right to be represented.  My friend did not complain about the Muslim mother coming in to educate children on her family's culture and religious beliefs, but if Christianity is brought up it's a big no no and the ACLU gets involved.  I just don't get it.

I could go on and on.  But I'll save it for a later post.  What do you think?  Opinions?  I'd love to hear them so I can be more knowledgeable because, I believe, the truly educated never graduate~

Peace.

PS.  I’m attaching the video of  Matisyahu’s song “One Day”  I think it really relates to this conversation.  Hope you like it as much as I do!

It's Something In the Water

After seven LONG months of getting my internet from my blackberry, I FINALLY have internet at home so I can start blogging again.  Cause I know you've missed me.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you've probably seen my posts about all the pregnant girls at the school where I teach.  I am gobsmacked.  I can't believe the number.  We have 1 freshman, 5 sophomores, 1 junior and a senior pregnant (Not to mention two teachers).  I'm guessing it is wrong for me to believe that all 8 girls missed that day of Health class??

Two of these girls I have in class.  I guess I just invest in these kids and I have an idea of a standard that they should maintain and when stuff like this happens, I feel bad for the girl, but most of all I'm just disappointed.

Five sophomores!  FIVE.  That means that they'll be mothers before they can legally drive!!!  To expect teenagers to abstain from sex is just unrealistic.  They're going to do it if they want to or not, the least we can do is give them knowledge and tools to protect themselves from disease and unwanted pregnancy.  I know this would NEVER happen, but in my perfect world we'd have condom dispensers in the bathrooms just like the tampon dispensers in the ladies room.  These kids are too embarrassed to go to the store and buy condoms.  They're going to believe any old wives tale or urban myth about how NOT to get pregnant before they dare embarrass themselves (We're talking about teenagers here).

We also need to teach our girls that they have the right to demand that their boyfriends use protection.  No glove, no love should be their mantra.  I mean these 5 sophomores are going to be 30 with a 15 year old child!  We need to provide our kids with all the options out there:  adoption, abortion, etc. (even though a lot of people don't believe in abortion they still have a right to know about it).

With 8 girls pregnant our society is doing SOMETHING wrong.  Heads need to be pulled out of the sand and we must except that things are going to happen.  You can't scare kids out of having sex.  It's just not going to happen.

In the meantime, I'm going to be drinking bottled water until this "trend" has passed.

Happy to be back!

It's Baaaaaaaaaack!

The new school year is back.  If my calculations are correct (and they probably aren't because you all know by now I'm too pretty to do math) this will be my 28th first day of school in my life.  You would think I would have the hang of it by now. 

Having moved out of state to be closer to family I had the daunting task of finding a place to live.  I went and looked at houses with realtors and used Craig's List as another source and as of Tuesday I had no place to live and was facing a 90 minute commute each way to and from the Ps house where I would have to stay.  God bless the people at my school.  Through the guidance counselor making a few calls I was put in touch with an English teacher who happened to have a house for rent.  I pulled into the driveway to see it and I was sold already.  Beautiful 2,000 square foot home with a full basement, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, a dog run in the back yard, fireplace I could go on and on.  It's on a country road that is hardly paved and besides all the corn and soybean fields there are only 3 other houses on my road.  It's straight up country.  As a matter of fact I made my first ever purchase from Tractor Supply yesterday.  Big change from the city girl I was for 10 years but I'm looking forward to the tranquility and peacefulness of the country.  I'm not going to lie though, every time I look out the kitchen to the cornfield that borders my backyard, I half expect Ray Leota to come out of the corn and want me to play catch with him.  When I start hearing the "if you build it he will come" voice I know I'm in trouble.

I'm looking forward to a great year with great stories to tell all of you!  Keep your fingers crossed for me on Monday!

Ready or not, here I go.....

Have no fear!

Apparently there have been worries that I would stop blogging if, after my move, I decided to go into a profession other than teaching or God forbid I not find a job.  I've had several people ask me "Have you written anything new on your blog?"  It's summer guys!  I'm working on my tan, going on interviews!  There's really not much I would have to write about.

So to set all your minds at ease, I wanted you all to know I will be teaching again this fall!  More stories!  This shall begin around the middle of August.  So check back for what I'm sure will be yet another interesting year in my classroom!

"Get Well Soon" As Communicated by My Students

On Thursday the 24th of March I was sent to the emergency room towards the end of the school day because of my high heart rate (156 resting!) and my blood pressure was abnormally high as well.  My fantastic department head sat with me in the hospital until my mother drove 5 hours to be by my side.  They gave me a shot that the doctor said could "drug a horse" and I sat there still a ball full on nervous energy.  The doctor was amazed.  This was the same medication I had been prescribed a week earlier for my anxiety.  Long story short I was admitted to the hospital and I spent 4 days there and came home with a whole bunch of meds that I never thought I'd be taking until I was way past 40 and the realization that teaching almost killed me.

 I left the hospital on Sunday evening.  Monday evening when I went to take the dogs out, in my mailbox were about 80 pieces of construction paper made into get well cards for me.  The next day I received 2 big cards from two of my other classes and even one from the German class!   They were all sweet cards and I wanted to share with you some of the better ones.  I must preface this by telling you the rumor around school is I had a heart attack and the kids think they did it to me.  So here are some of the better quotes from the several cards I received:

-Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,  Glad you're not dead, Victor and I made this card for you!


-Ms. N,
When I heard you had a heart attack I panicked.   I thought you were being lazy and didn't want to deal with us on Friday but I was wrong....


-Ms. N..
Just because I sit in the back of class and don't pay attention (usually I sleep) does not mean I don't care.  Get well soon.


 -Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You had a heart attack and we miss you!


-Dear Ms. N.,
Last Friday I thought you were taking a three day weekend.  Little did I know you went through cardiac arrest.  I feel extremely bad for you and I hope you get better soon.


Ms N.- Get well soon and don't forget to take your medicine


-Hope you get some rest Ms. N.  I know I need some.


-Get well soon.  Have good health.  Sorry that I've been such a little shit.


-I hope your heart gets happy again and doesn't blow up.  I love you (This one was from Tyler with an i and in the shape of a heart).


-Ms. N. get back soon so we can talk March Madness some more.


-Ms. N.  I didn't think our class was bad enough to give you heart problems!


Ms. N.  I think when you come back we should have a fiesta to celebrate your buena salud (good health).  I know I'm your favorite student.  I also know where you live.


...my grandma has had major heart problems for two years now.  I don't know how it feels but I do know the dangers of it...but I'm glad you are okay.


I'll bet 95% of them were signed "your favorite student".  Some didn't even have names on them...just that.  It's nice to know that in the self centered, socially guarded minds of my students that even though they act like big turds sometimes....that they care.

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I did!

"Firsts" and I Hope A "Never Again".

The teaching profession is full of firsts.  First time you make a kid cry, first kid you fail.  First freshmen you see through to graduation, you're first drink with a freshly 21 year old former student who you remember quite well as a 15 year old high school freshman.  There are also unfortunately some "firsts" that you hope are "Never Agains".  For as many awesome "Firsts" that I've had, I've had "Firsts but hopefully never agains".  I won't go into the details of the "Never Agains" that I have experienced because it's depressing stuff and I just don't want to go there.  This weekend I experienced a "First" and a "Hopefully Never Again."

I woke on Friday morning to the news of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan.  I sat in horror as I watched the news and the only thing I could think of was "Zack".  My first year of teaching in rural Indiana I had the most awesome group of kids, when I left I cried.  With the wonders of social networking I managed to keep in touch with a few of them who are now wonderful young men and women.  One of these students is Zack.  He was one of the most talented, enthusiastic, shining stars I ever had the pleasure to teach.  If you are a teacher you know the kind of kids that make you happy you chose a career in education?  That's him.  We Facebook chat once in a while and I was so excited for him when he announced he would be teaching English in Japan.  I've followed his journey via Facebook and when I heard of all the disaster in Japan I automatically thought of him and his safety.  So for the entire day Friday I sat vigil over Facebook waiting for some message from someone that he was okay.  I e mailed members of his family asking for news and they knew as much as I did.  I can't count how many times I checked my e mail and refreshed my browser and PRAYED.  I finally got word at 7:40 Friday night that the family received word that he was safe.  I was beside myself for my student that I taught ten years ago, I can't even imagine how his family felt.  I chalk this up to a "Never Again".  Never, ever again.

On a lighter note I've got a "First" that had me a little shocked but I found it highly humorous. My IPOD dinged this afternoon that I had a FACEBOOK message.  It was from a former student of mine inviting me to a "Surprise Party".  I thought I knew what it was but I couldn't imagine getting an invite like this from a former student so I googled it.  My first reaction was correct.  A former student invited me to a sex toy party.  I just kind of sat at the computer with my jaw opened and then I just laughed.  I mean what else was I supposed to do?

Teenagers Have No Filter

There are several reasons I like teaching teenagers; you don't have to wipe their butt after they go potty, you don't have to help them blow their noses, they don't cry (usually).  The list could go on and on.  I have to say one of my favorite things about working with teenagers is their brutal honesty.  If I'm wearing something that they don't like, they'll ask me, "Ms. N, you like that shirt huh?"  That's their nice way of saying "That shirt is so out of style Ms. N. never wear it again."  Sadly enough, I take their advice.  They're supposed to be the "young hip ones"...and alas I am over the age of 30 and not considered "young and hip" anymore.

We are studying a specific region in Europe and I busted out my photos from my several trips to Europe to show them different areas of the region.  That's when the gloves were off and the comments started to roll:

Student:  "Wow Ms. N you were skinny back then."  This comment made about a photo that is 7 years old.  Made me feel super.

Student:  "WHO IS THAT?"  They were shocked and a bit disappointed when I told them it was, in fact, a picture of me....7 years ago.

Showing pictures of my most recent trip to Europe which was with an ex who unfortunately was in several of the pictures:

Student:  Eww..who's the old guy in the picture with you?  (It was my ex)

Student:  (while looking at another picture with the two of us and a friend of mine from HS that we met over there), "Eww Ms. N your boyfriend brought his KID along?"

Then finally:

Student:  Ms. N why did you break up with the old guy?  Cause there is no reason someone his age dating a young chick like you would ever leave...he's not going to do any better.  I LOVE THEM.

Finally one of the best of the week.  This was this morning with my freshmen.  A girl raised her hand and said," Ms. N when I put this flower in my hair today I thought of you.  Cause you're always doing funky stuff with your hair."

I was unaware that my hair was "funky"

Yikes.  They keep me humble and sometimes in a weird way they compliment me.

Happy Friday.

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

At one point in our lives we've all cheated.  Some have a higher level of sophistication and some don't.  Even the best cheaters get caught sometimes but usually it's the ones that just aren't good at it.  I'm not going to live in some rose colored world where I think my students are angels and don't cheat.  This is one of the reasons I don't count homework as part of my students' grades.  Like I'm going to actually give them points for cheating. Psh...yea right.

On Friday I gave a test to one of my levels.  Needless to say they were miserable.  I'm not going to go into how the kids don't study, or they have no motivation or they just don't care.  I've already made peace with that and I know it's not my fault.  At some point the student needs to put forth a little effort.  While going over the scan tron portion of the test I noticed there were two IDENTICAL answer sheets.  Funny enough one sat right behind the other.  I knew right away who I thought was the culprit but nonetheless I questioned both.  First I pulled the "good kid" in the hallway and showed him the test.  He almost started crying when he told me the other kid (the kid that I suspected) had cheated off him.  They had both the same right and wrong answers.  I told the good kid to not get worked up, I didn't figure him for a cheater and told him to "play along".  Worst case scenario, he'd have to take the test over again and I'd give him the higher grade.  I send him back in the classroom and pulled "the evil one" out.  This kid is a piece of work, cocky beyond belief and he always has an excuse for everything...of course nothing is ever his fault either.  I showed him both of the scantrons and asked him what he thought of the similarities.  His face got super read and he got this shit eating grin on his face and said "Ms. N. I have no idea what you are talking about."  Seriously.  When you're caught you're caught.  There is no need to lie directly to my face.  I might look young (wink wink) but I wasn't born yesterday.  His attitude set me off.  I immediately launched into the "First you're going to cheat and then you're going to lie to my face" tirade.  He stood there all red faced and laughing and finally admitted he cheated ofF the other kid.  Then he had the audacity to ask me if he could retake the test.  I made him go in the classroom and I had to subside the anger brewing in me before I took my place in front of the class.  He, of course, goes into the class and announces that he got caught cheating on my test which the rest of the savages think is HIGHLY hilarious.  So I asked, "Why did you do it?".  His answer:  "Because Ms. N I don't know this stuff, what else was a supposed to do?"

If looks could kill that child would not be in my classroom tomorrow.  This is our future and this is why I'm scared.

My First Real Girl Fight

So apparently I lead a very sheltered "school life."  I've never once witnessed a fight as a teacher.  I used to have a baseball bat with me in the hallway of one school I worked for because my classroom was around the corner and that was where rival gang members liked to fight each other.  They knew I had the bat and they stayed out of my corner of the world.

This morning I was standing in the copy room with another teacher and we started hearing this chant (by boys by the way) yelling "Hit the bitch!".  I looked at my colleague and made some type of comment about boys disrespecting young ladies with their language when all of a sudden I saw two girls throwing punches at each other.  The other teacher yelled "Black Button!" which is the button in every classroom that is used to call security.  I, for some reason walked right over to the fight.

Now let's pause here.  These were two girls who LOOK tough.  I can't really describe it but they walk around school (especially by the one that started it) with a look that says "Look at me wrong and I will mess you up."  I'm unfamiliar with the laws of teachers getting in the middle of fights and I want to keep my job so I did NOT intervene.

So I stood there screaming at the top of my lungs for help while yelling at the girls to "cut it out".  I was about to intervene when I saw blood.  HELLS NO.  First of all, I like my face and I'd like to keep it that way.  Secondly, I refuse to compromise my health and risk of disease by getting in the middle of two thugish girls who are probably fighting over a boy.  Not to mention this was a SERIOUS fight.  We're talking banging each other's heads on concrete a possible broken nose and lots of hair pulling.  There was seriously blood everywhere.   I've never claimed to be a hero and that's not how I want to gain that status...

Of course all my students made fun of me because I didn't do anything physical to break it up.  I looked at them all and said seriously (pointing to my face), "Do you really think I want to mess this up?  Not to mention breaking a nail."  But in all seriousness I simply told them I wasn't about to get involved in their violence.  It's not my job.  I stood there, called for help and made sure no one else got involved.

I am officially scarred by today's events.  I don't think I'll ever get the image of those two girls going at it like professional wrestlers out of my head ever again.  I think I'm going to need even MORE therapy after today...

Teacher Blogging in the News

Recently a Pennsylvania teacher has been suspended with pay for comments she wrote about students on her blog.  If you don't know what I'm talking about read the story here.  I'm all about 1st amendment rights.  And I'm even more about exposing people to the fact that teachers are people too.  We have piercings and tattoos, we use facebook, some of us like to have a drink once and a while and we frequent eating establishments just like the rest of the world does.  Every time I go through a fast food drive through and a kid is at the window they look at me like I'm an animal out of the zoo or something.

So after this story broke, and I was scolded by my father for blogging about school stuff I started to investigate this whole situation more.  Plainly put, this woman is a moron.  I am very well aware that someone outside of my circle of friends could see this blog.  I don't intend to write to be malicious or harsh.  I want to share funny experiences that happen to me in the classroom, share how kids think these days, and maybe an article or two from the Huffington Post.  Do some of my students irritate me?  You betcha. Do I hate them because of it or wish them or their parents ill will?  Absolutely not.  THEY'RE TEENAGERS.  They're supposed to be all full of hormones and angst. They're supposed to not like authority.  I mean this woman was saying that she hates kids and suggesting some kids are stupid.  I would never do that.  I see potential in every single one of my students.  Even the ones that get on my nerves once in a while (Who are actually the most intelligent I've always found out).  And my kids know it too.  I lovingly refer to them as "my little monsters" and they know I don't mean that in a bad way.  Almost daily one of the kids who is being the biggest butthead of them all will come up to me at the end of class and say "Ms. N, you know you love us even though we don't deserve it a lot of times."  And the truth is I do.  I just have to remind myself of the situations these kids may be coming from.  Their home lives might not be that outstanding, they might not have parents that care like mine did when I was their age.  I might be the only positive role model they have.  Because of all of this, despite being "the burnt out high school teacher" at the end of the day I love what I do.  I think I just need a tropical vacation or something.  So to the PA teacher, shame on you.  Shame on you for being ignorant and not thinking anyone else would read something that you write that is on a PUBLIC website.  We all get frustrated, we all get discouraged...but a public forum is no place to be down right cruel, rude and mean.

Amen.

Fantastic Articles

Behold, 2 more great articles on Education from The Huffington Post.  One by Steve Nelson who is the headmaster of a private school in New York. It's adequately titled "Happy Valentine's Day: Take This Job and Shove It."  It's like a love letter to the public school teacher.  The other is titled "Respecting Education"  I wish these were articles more people read.  Please feel free to pass them along..

Valentine's Day In the Classroom

Anyone who knows me knows that I devour the Huffington Post  daily.  Today I found this article titled "Breaking Kids Hearts on Valentines Day."  This article is heartbreaking.  I remember as a child, right before Valentine's Day, having a letter sent home from my teacher about our Valentine's Day Party accompanied with a list of every student's name.  My mother made sure that I gave a Valentine to EVERY SINGLE CLASSMATE.  I would have never thought it any other way.  The smelly kid who sat in the corner, and even the girl who everyone thought had "cooties" because she just returned to school following a bout with head lice got a Valentine from me.  To read this article about some students not receiving a single Valentine from their classmates is just wrong.  And it's not just elementary school!  It continues in high school with "candy grams" and  sending flowers etc.  After reading this, I can understand why some school districts don't allow holidays to be celebrated in class.  So I guess my point is, if you are reading this and you are a parent, please make sure your child gives valentines to everyone because you have no idea the damage it can cause to a young child.  If you are a teacher, please ask that your students do the same.  It's just mean and hurtful on a holiday that is supposed to be about love and friendship.

On a lighter note, my dad sent me flowers today which is always lovely.  "Tyler with an i" gave me a side hug and said sweetly "Happy Valentine's Day Ms. N I love you AND your sweater."  Nothing better than the sweet sentiments of my fancy friend!