Have no fear!

Apparently there have been worries that I would stop blogging if, after my move, I decided to go into a profession other than teaching or God forbid I not find a job.  I've had several people ask me "Have you written anything new on your blog?"  It's summer guys!  I'm working on my tan, going on interviews!  There's really not much I would have to write about.

So to set all your minds at ease, I wanted you all to know I will be teaching again this fall!  More stories!  This shall begin around the middle of August.  So check back for what I'm sure will be yet another interesting year in my classroom!

"Get Well Soon" As Communicated by My Students

On Thursday the 24th of March I was sent to the emergency room towards the end of the school day because of my high heart rate (156 resting!) and my blood pressure was abnormally high as well.  My fantastic department head sat with me in the hospital until my mother drove 5 hours to be by my side.  They gave me a shot that the doctor said could "drug a horse" and I sat there still a ball full on nervous energy.  The doctor was amazed.  This was the same medication I had been prescribed a week earlier for my anxiety.  Long story short I was admitted to the hospital and I spent 4 days there and came home with a whole bunch of meds that I never thought I'd be taking until I was way past 40 and the realization that teaching almost killed me.

 I left the hospital on Sunday evening.  Monday evening when I went to take the dogs out, in my mailbox were about 80 pieces of construction paper made into get well cards for me.  The next day I received 2 big cards from two of my other classes and even one from the German class!   They were all sweet cards and I wanted to share with you some of the better ones.  I must preface this by telling you the rumor around school is I had a heart attack and the kids think they did it to me.  So here are some of the better quotes from the several cards I received:

-Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,  Glad you're not dead, Victor and I made this card for you!


-Ms. N,
When I heard you had a heart attack I panicked.   I thought you were being lazy and didn't want to deal with us on Friday but I was wrong....


-Ms. N..
Just because I sit in the back of class and don't pay attention (usually I sleep) does not mean I don't care.  Get well soon.


 -Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You had a heart attack and we miss you!


-Dear Ms. N.,
Last Friday I thought you were taking a three day weekend.  Little did I know you went through cardiac arrest.  I feel extremely bad for you and I hope you get better soon.


Ms N.- Get well soon and don't forget to take your medicine


-Hope you get some rest Ms. N.  I know I need some.


-Get well soon.  Have good health.  Sorry that I've been such a little shit.


-I hope your heart gets happy again and doesn't blow up.  I love you (This one was from Tyler with an i and in the shape of a heart).


-Ms. N. get back soon so we can talk March Madness some more.


-Ms. N.  I didn't think our class was bad enough to give you heart problems!


Ms. N.  I think when you come back we should have a fiesta to celebrate your buena salud (good health).  I know I'm your favorite student.  I also know where you live.


...my grandma has had major heart problems for two years now.  I don't know how it feels but I do know the dangers of it...but I'm glad you are okay.


I'll bet 95% of them were signed "your favorite student".  Some didn't even have names on them...just that.  It's nice to know that in the self centered, socially guarded minds of my students that even though they act like big turds sometimes....that they care.

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I did!

"Firsts" and I Hope A "Never Again".

The teaching profession is full of firsts.  First time you make a kid cry, first kid you fail.  First freshmen you see through to graduation, you're first drink with a freshly 21 year old former student who you remember quite well as a 15 year old high school freshman.  There are also unfortunately some "firsts" that you hope are "Never Agains".  For as many awesome "Firsts" that I've had, I've had "Firsts but hopefully never agains".  I won't go into the details of the "Never Agains" that I have experienced because it's depressing stuff and I just don't want to go there.  This weekend I experienced a "First" and a "Hopefully Never Again."

I woke on Friday morning to the news of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan.  I sat in horror as I watched the news and the only thing I could think of was "Zack".  My first year of teaching in rural Indiana I had the most awesome group of kids, when I left I cried.  With the wonders of social networking I managed to keep in touch with a few of them who are now wonderful young men and women.  One of these students is Zack.  He was one of the most talented, enthusiastic, shining stars I ever had the pleasure to teach.  If you are a teacher you know the kind of kids that make you happy you chose a career in education?  That's him.  We Facebook chat once in a while and I was so excited for him when he announced he would be teaching English in Japan.  I've followed his journey via Facebook and when I heard of all the disaster in Japan I automatically thought of him and his safety.  So for the entire day Friday I sat vigil over Facebook waiting for some message from someone that he was okay.  I e mailed members of his family asking for news and they knew as much as I did.  I can't count how many times I checked my e mail and refreshed my browser and PRAYED.  I finally got word at 7:40 Friday night that the family received word that he was safe.  I was beside myself for my student that I taught ten years ago, I can't even imagine how his family felt.  I chalk this up to a "Never Again".  Never, ever again.

On a lighter note I've got a "First" that had me a little shocked but I found it highly humorous. My IPOD dinged this afternoon that I had a FACEBOOK message.  It was from a former student of mine inviting me to a "Surprise Party".  I thought I knew what it was but I couldn't imagine getting an invite like this from a former student so I googled it.  My first reaction was correct.  A former student invited me to a sex toy party.  I just kind of sat at the computer with my jaw opened and then I just laughed.  I mean what else was I supposed to do?

Teenagers Have No Filter

There are several reasons I like teaching teenagers; you don't have to wipe their butt after they go potty, you don't have to help them blow their noses, they don't cry (usually).  The list could go on and on.  I have to say one of my favorite things about working with teenagers is their brutal honesty.  If I'm wearing something that they don't like, they'll ask me, "Ms. N, you like that shirt huh?"  That's their nice way of saying "That shirt is so out of style Ms. N. never wear it again."  Sadly enough, I take their advice.  They're supposed to be the "young hip ones"...and alas I am over the age of 30 and not considered "young and hip" anymore.

We are studying a specific region in Europe and I busted out my photos from my several trips to Europe to show them different areas of the region.  That's when the gloves were off and the comments started to roll:

Student:  "Wow Ms. N you were skinny back then."  This comment made about a photo that is 7 years old.  Made me feel super.

Student:  "WHO IS THAT?"  They were shocked and a bit disappointed when I told them it was, in fact, a picture of me....7 years ago.

Showing pictures of my most recent trip to Europe which was with an ex who unfortunately was in several of the pictures:

Student:  Eww..who's the old guy in the picture with you?  (It was my ex)

Student:  (while looking at another picture with the two of us and a friend of mine from HS that we met over there), "Eww Ms. N your boyfriend brought his KID along?"

Then finally:

Student:  Ms. N why did you break up with the old guy?  Cause there is no reason someone his age dating a young chick like you would ever leave...he's not going to do any better.  I LOVE THEM.

Finally one of the best of the week.  This was this morning with my freshmen.  A girl raised her hand and said," Ms. N when I put this flower in my hair today I thought of you.  Cause you're always doing funky stuff with your hair."

I was unaware that my hair was "funky"

Yikes.  They keep me humble and sometimes in a weird way they compliment me.

Happy Friday.

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

At one point in our lives we've all cheated.  Some have a higher level of sophistication and some don't.  Even the best cheaters get caught sometimes but usually it's the ones that just aren't good at it.  I'm not going to live in some rose colored world where I think my students are angels and don't cheat.  This is one of the reasons I don't count homework as part of my students' grades.  Like I'm going to actually give them points for cheating. Psh...yea right.

On Friday I gave a test to one of my levels.  Needless to say they were miserable.  I'm not going to go into how the kids don't study, or they have no motivation or they just don't care.  I've already made peace with that and I know it's not my fault.  At some point the student needs to put forth a little effort.  While going over the scan tron portion of the test I noticed there were two IDENTICAL answer sheets.  Funny enough one sat right behind the other.  I knew right away who I thought was the culprit but nonetheless I questioned both.  First I pulled the "good kid" in the hallway and showed him the test.  He almost started crying when he told me the other kid (the kid that I suspected) had cheated off him.  They had both the same right and wrong answers.  I told the good kid to not get worked up, I didn't figure him for a cheater and told him to "play along".  Worst case scenario, he'd have to take the test over again and I'd give him the higher grade.  I send him back in the classroom and pulled "the evil one" out.  This kid is a piece of work, cocky beyond belief and he always has an excuse for everything...of course nothing is ever his fault either.  I showed him both of the scantrons and asked him what he thought of the similarities.  His face got super read and he got this shit eating grin on his face and said "Ms. N. I have no idea what you are talking about."  Seriously.  When you're caught you're caught.  There is no need to lie directly to my face.  I might look young (wink wink) but I wasn't born yesterday.  His attitude set me off.  I immediately launched into the "First you're going to cheat and then you're going to lie to my face" tirade.  He stood there all red faced and laughing and finally admitted he cheated ofF the other kid.  Then he had the audacity to ask me if he could retake the test.  I made him go in the classroom and I had to subside the anger brewing in me before I took my place in front of the class.  He, of course, goes into the class and announces that he got caught cheating on my test which the rest of the savages think is HIGHLY hilarious.  So I asked, "Why did you do it?".  His answer:  "Because Ms. N I don't know this stuff, what else was a supposed to do?"

If looks could kill that child would not be in my classroom tomorrow.  This is our future and this is why I'm scared.

My First Real Girl Fight

So apparently I lead a very sheltered "school life."  I've never once witnessed a fight as a teacher.  I used to have a baseball bat with me in the hallway of one school I worked for because my classroom was around the corner and that was where rival gang members liked to fight each other.  They knew I had the bat and they stayed out of my corner of the world.

This morning I was standing in the copy room with another teacher and we started hearing this chant (by boys by the way) yelling "Hit the bitch!".  I looked at my colleague and made some type of comment about boys disrespecting young ladies with their language when all of a sudden I saw two girls throwing punches at each other.  The other teacher yelled "Black Button!" which is the button in every classroom that is used to call security.  I, for some reason walked right over to the fight.

Now let's pause here.  These were two girls who LOOK tough.  I can't really describe it but they walk around school (especially by the one that started it) with a look that says "Look at me wrong and I will mess you up."  I'm unfamiliar with the laws of teachers getting in the middle of fights and I want to keep my job so I did NOT intervene.

So I stood there screaming at the top of my lungs for help while yelling at the girls to "cut it out".  I was about to intervene when I saw blood.  HELLS NO.  First of all, I like my face and I'd like to keep it that way.  Secondly, I refuse to compromise my health and risk of disease by getting in the middle of two thugish girls who are probably fighting over a boy.  Not to mention this was a SERIOUS fight.  We're talking banging each other's heads on concrete a possible broken nose and lots of hair pulling.  There was seriously blood everywhere.   I've never claimed to be a hero and that's not how I want to gain that status...

Of course all my students made fun of me because I didn't do anything physical to break it up.  I looked at them all and said seriously (pointing to my face), "Do you really think I want to mess this up?  Not to mention breaking a nail."  But in all seriousness I simply told them I wasn't about to get involved in their violence.  It's not my job.  I stood there, called for help and made sure no one else got involved.

I am officially scarred by today's events.  I don't think I'll ever get the image of those two girls going at it like professional wrestlers out of my head ever again.  I think I'm going to need even MORE therapy after today...

Teacher Blogging in the News

Recently a Pennsylvania teacher has been suspended with pay for comments she wrote about students on her blog.  If you don't know what I'm talking about read the story here.  I'm all about 1st amendment rights.  And I'm even more about exposing people to the fact that teachers are people too.  We have piercings and tattoos, we use facebook, some of us like to have a drink once and a while and we frequent eating establishments just like the rest of the world does.  Every time I go through a fast food drive through and a kid is at the window they look at me like I'm an animal out of the zoo or something.

So after this story broke, and I was scolded by my father for blogging about school stuff I started to investigate this whole situation more.  Plainly put, this woman is a moron.  I am very well aware that someone outside of my circle of friends could see this blog.  I don't intend to write to be malicious or harsh.  I want to share funny experiences that happen to me in the classroom, share how kids think these days, and maybe an article or two from the Huffington Post.  Do some of my students irritate me?  You betcha. Do I hate them because of it or wish them or their parents ill will?  Absolutely not.  THEY'RE TEENAGERS.  They're supposed to be all full of hormones and angst. They're supposed to not like authority.  I mean this woman was saying that she hates kids and suggesting some kids are stupid.  I would never do that.  I see potential in every single one of my students.  Even the ones that get on my nerves once in a while (Who are actually the most intelligent I've always found out).  And my kids know it too.  I lovingly refer to them as "my little monsters" and they know I don't mean that in a bad way.  Almost daily one of the kids who is being the biggest butthead of them all will come up to me at the end of class and say "Ms. N, you know you love us even though we don't deserve it a lot of times."  And the truth is I do.  I just have to remind myself of the situations these kids may be coming from.  Their home lives might not be that outstanding, they might not have parents that care like mine did when I was their age.  I might be the only positive role model they have.  Because of all of this, despite being "the burnt out high school teacher" at the end of the day I love what I do.  I think I just need a tropical vacation or something.  So to the PA teacher, shame on you.  Shame on you for being ignorant and not thinking anyone else would read something that you write that is on a PUBLIC website.  We all get frustrated, we all get discouraged...but a public forum is no place to be down right cruel, rude and mean.

Amen.