Four years ago I taught for the first time in a rural setting. My students were farm kids, they owned chickens, pigs, cows, etc. The FFA (Future Farmers of America for those, like myself had no idea what the acronym stood for) was really a big deal at the school. They even had a "Drive Your Tractor to School Day" I wish I could find the pictures I took because it was ridiculous but it looked something like this:
One day in one of my freshmen classes (could have been sophomores but I believe it was freshmen) we were talking about the two parts of a spanish verb: The "stem" and the "root" (which I pronounce like the word "foot" and I get made of big time here for it). The root of a verb is only made up of two letters while the stem can be various letters long. A curious student raised his hand and asked "Ms. N. wouldn't you think that the root would be longer than the stem, because root are usually longer if not bigger?" A valid question I will admit which sparked the interest of other students who started shouting out examples such as "like carrots, like radishes or turnips." Then the last example was said, "Yea like onions". I stopped this misinformed youth and matter of factly said "No, not onions. They don't grow underground they grow on a bush or a vine." The whole class got silent. One kid raised his hand and said, "But Ms. N." and one of the older kids stopped him mid sentence and said "Shut-up I want to hear this. Tell us about how onions are raised Ms. N." So I explained to them that onions grow on bushes or vines like tomatoes. Vines either produced the big onions we can buy individually at the grocery store or the vines produce the little cocktail onions. It all depended on what kind of vine it was. When I was finished, the kids just kind of sat there, mouths gaping open and then they started to laugh. They laughed until some were claiming they were going to pee their pants while others were laughing so hard they were crying. I stood there, with a confused look on my face wondering "what is so funny?" Finally the student who asked to hear my explanation of how onions were raised stopped laughing and asked me, "Ms. N. when is the last time you bought an onion at the store?" I thought about it and told him it had been a week or two. He then asked "Did you ever notice they're kind of dirty, like DIRT dirty?" I said I guess I did but I washed all my vegetables so I never gave it much thought. He concluded with "Ms. N. they're dirty like that because they grow UNDERGROUND." My snappy and oh so ignorant retort, "Get out of here, they are not." So they had me google it and sure enough my onion vine/bush theory was something I made up in my urban track mind. My students couldn't believe I didn't know, what was to them, simple knowledge. My argument back then, and until this day, is "I've never planted onions before how would I know how they grow?" Some still call me silly for not knowing, other urban track minds like mine would agree it makes sense.
Fast forward four years and I'm teaching the properties of a Spanish verb to this year's freshmen. Since these freshmen are my "babies" and they've only known Spanish taught by me, they're a bit easier to talk to than kids who had the crappy teacher for the past two years and are all upset that the Spanish class they signed up for was a blow off where the teacher would "sneak them out" to take them down the street to Taco Bell during class.
Remembering my story I re-told it to my second hour of freshmen. [Side note: I am BACK in the country. I think I've talked about this in past posts but just wanted to drive that point home. Sometimes I feel like Lisa Douglas, Eva Gabor's character in Green Acres]. They too thought it was super funny, my lack of rural knowledge and agriculture. When the making fun of Ms. N. because she talks funny and thinks onions grow on trees stopped one of my exceptionally bright students asked, "Well I'm guessing you figured out where eggs come from that you buy from the store?" I just kind of looked at him with a blank stare. I kind of get it, but the whole chickens laying eggs for the heck of it thing still mystifies me. So I was honest and said "Not really." Just like North Face claims that they'll "Never Stop Exploring" I have a similar philosophy that I will "Never Stop Learning". So I asked them about it. Some of these kids had parents who had chickens at home or lived on farms with chickens and knew more facts about this than I did (I teach Spanish not Animal Production 101). I think they just confused me more. I asked how many eggs chickens lay a day and I got laughs...not an answer. I asked "Well how does the chicken know it layed an omlet egg and not a baby chicken egg?" The answer I got back was pretty simple: The omlet eggs are not fertalized and the baby chicken eggs are." Then another curious student chimed in and said "But how do you know it's a fertalized egg?" Excellent question I thought. Then one of my most prim and proper girls said in a half whisper, half closed mouth to the girl beside her with the question, "It's because, you know, they have chicken sex." That was the breaking point for me. I laughed so hard I was doubled over and this girl's face was scarlet. Someone asked how chickens have sex next and I cut off the converstation right there and went back to verbs. It was a valid question and I'm still unsure about all those egg questions, and I have no idea how chickens mate, but the conversation had to stop before chicken sex positions, diagrams and hand gestures started.
These kids teach me so much! I don't mind that they laugh at my lack of "rural knowledge". I laugh with them, because if I can't laugh at myself, well, I don't belong in this profession.
Happy Easter!
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